In a seemingly endless series of trial-and-error "medicines" the doctor told us to take a supplement called Immunocal. NOT even going to link to that sh*t. And god damn I'm sorry to not have done the research properly before A actually bought and sent it. A short overview of what has turned out:
- It's just bloody whey protein powder, near-zero difference from our normal add-to-morning-muesli-or-porridge protein powder by Myprotein (which, in a hilarious twist, the doctor forbade us to eat for being overly processed alongside other milk-containing products... the fact that this Immuno-bs is also milk-based and at least as highly processed, well, whoops...)
- Unlike our normal protein supplements that have a ton of actual citeable research done about to determine their purity, effect etc, this one seems to have zero valid papers/backers/tests.
- Price of 15-days worth of these sachets costs 350 Polish Zloty (because that's where ours got sent from), which is to say 77 EUR. And the "course" we were supposed to follow is 2 months, meaning a total of 616 EUR for the two of us. Plus, of course, the postage costs, first to order it inside Poland (because you can't just get it from a shop, probably because of the next point), and then to post it all the way to Japan.
- And the company/product, as D put it, (I'm so done with all of it by this point, not even going to doublecheck), is plain and simple - a pyramid scheme. Explains quite a bit, doesn't it...
- Also, their own website (at least at the time of writing this post) is broken when trying to access anything besides the front page.
- The "expires on" dates seem to also have been set to minimal-time, maximum profit-gain, comparing them to other products.
Now, since we already have this thing here, might as well consume it and try to forget the whole episode, right. Wellll, hold your horses, because:
- Trying to open a sachet spills a dusting of the powder all over a squaremeter, because the thing is so full of static, the powder so flighty and the packet so badly-designed, that no matter how careful one is, it just.. argghhh.
- Next comes the stench. I never would have thought that working endless hours in the lab mixing up bacteria-growth media plates and becoming insensitivised to that particular stink could come in handy when dealing with anything meant for human consumption, but here we are.
- Trying to use the shaker cup that comes with the box is a hopeless case, unless you actually enjoy sticky beige foamy goo splattered all over your place.
- Oh, and when you do manage to shake the thing up, it's just foam - I'm saying, unconsumable levels of foam, with no way to get to the liquid partition in the bottom of the cup without getting the foam into your nose or choking that down first, whilst trying very hard not to think about the foamy bleach-based mold cleaners I regularly use. Waiting for the foam to dissipate before consuming doesn't work either, because of the general rule of protein shakes (unless refridgerated) having to be consumed within 30min of mixing.
- Trying to stir it in a teacup with a fork is not much better, because instead of endless foam you then get just unmelting slimy gloops floating in whetever beverage you tried to blend the powder into, with at least 2/3 of it plain stuck to your utensil.
- Oh, did I mention, the instructions on the packet indicate that you're supposed to shake the thing for 15 minutes, no blender or hot liquid (both of which would, of course, reduce the mixing time) allowed, because it might "damage the chemical structure of the product". Who the f has 15 minutes of time twice a day to stand over a sink (see pt 3.), holding your breath, desperately gripping the ill-fitting lid on a cup while trying to shake up this nonsense???
- Opening the cup lid causes another explosion of splatter, because in the places where the lid is actually stuck, it really is stuck. Combined with the upbuilt pressure from the released gas, well.
- And then the kicker. It is, actually, inedible. I've NEVER had to jump up from the table so fast before to go get a bucket as when D tried the first sip of the drink. To get very specific and vivid here - I could SEE the wave of vomit going up the throat from the outside after a single sip. Yes, it is THIS bad. And D is able to eat almost anything!
- In an increasing row of surprises, after gathering courage for a long time, I also tried a sip, and the reaction was actually less bad. Don't get me wrong, I still wouldn't wish this sh*t on my worst enemy, but at least I didn't immediately have to throw up. Again, thank the lab training. (Yeah, yeah, also different people have different sensitivities, I get the same sort of about-to-projectile-vomit reaction for ground linseeds, while D has no issues with that.)
- Oh, and of course that remotely-consumable-by-me-when-holding-my-breath state of affairs was only achieved after mixing the drink with extra sugar and sour cranberry jam. Which, naturally, negates even the hypothetical benefit of the "healthy" food supplement.
- And the outcome? Well, let's put it this way - in addition to being nauseated for an hour and burping up this extremely nasty smell-taste for two after taking the dose, I'm glad that the weather is good enough to keep the windows open all night to alleviate side-effects eminating from the lower parts of the digestive tract.
- And then you have to scrape the leftover goo off of the shaking cup lid to prepare for the next time...
In summary, this is the third, and by far the worst utterly inexcuseable ripoff within a few weeks that I've encountered.
Next-in-line-of-worseness was randomly finding out that SEB bank has been charging 7 EUR per month of account fee (not a card fee, mind you, haven't got one of those since forever) from any Estonian citizen living abroad, without actually notifying one about doing it. For years. Kept the old account as a just-in-case backup, because the upkeep fee that I signed the contract for was sth like 0.28 EUR per month, so why not. Have been in Japan for, what, near 10 years by now, so... And then trying to close the completely pointless account with what little money they hadn't stolen yet... I'm getting nightmares.
Third worst was a local policeman stopping me at the railway crossing and telling me to get off the bike, because it is dangerous to ride over the railway, in a spot I've been riding past daily for years. Thus leaving me to push-manouver a seriously heavily-loaded (after a shopping trip) bike over the crossing for 5 times longer than riding over it would have taken, therefore also putting myself and everyone around into the potential "danger" for 5 times longer, in the process further hurting my already damaged wrist and knees. All the while counting the endless other bikers going the wrong way in traffic, getting in the way of cars and/or pedestrians or doing what I had just been explicitly forbidden to do.
To clarify, yes, I was on the right-hand side of the side-walk part of the crossing, because I had to turn right 2m after the crossing, and it sure as hell isn't safe to start turning from the proper left side lane (pretending to be a car) making random cars stop directly on the railway tracks (because, wow, the culture of completely ignoring bikes and their rights when you happen to be sitting at the wheel of a car in Japan is just... what I mean - no matter how much you'd indicate and wave hands about etc., the cars would not stop until you are directly in their path, and if that meant sudden-braking on the tracks, that is exactly what would happen).
The kicker in this case is, that unlike all those other bikers I mentioned doing the same thing, I have ALWAYS purposefully stopped to let any pedestrians or oncoming traffic through, before crossing in turn. Deliberately and on purpose and keeping the safety of everyone around in mind. Like for real, I've though about that every single f'ing time on that crossing. And since the crossing is directly in front of the police box, there is NO WAY the asshole hadn't ever seen it happen. Well, fk that sh*t too from now on then - who am I to try to get along with the world and accommodate other people, should just start ignoring all traffic rules along with the common sense like the rest of the biking-driving populace here. Including the policemen on their own bikes, I have to add...
Cheers,
Hedi
