Post is not for the weak-minded and I take no responsibility for whatever it may make the reader feel. You have been warned.
Over the past 4 months or so in a random order:
- Kyoto has had 2 strong earthquakes, one of them with 8 discernible shocks over the course of 24 hrs.
- 4 typhoons (by my count, can't be bothered to check) have hit the city, some of them strong enough to snap concrete electric posts in half and make garages fly away, not to mention the hundreds of uprooted trees.
- There have been floods with riverbanks flowing away and landslides.
- Those were followed by a heat-wave and people dying on the streets.
- We have had 2 power outages in lab, one of them caused by a gecko.
- One fridge, the entire 4C room, two of the four cleanbenches and a PCR machine have broken down.
- The chemistry building next-door caught fire.
- This morning I went to lab to find the entire basement floor and all of our equipment flooded, source of water still unknown.
- The metal pole of my cheer-up rainbow umbrella inexplicably snapped in half amidst a downpour.
- I fell in love bad enough to have to constantly struggle against saying that and have the person keep popping up in dreams. This has happened only once before.
- Then I had to say bye to the person and basically any contact with them, forever.
- While at the same time sending away (all over the world, extremely low chance of meeting again) such a large number of friends I don't even dare count them all.
- The news that the person who drove me to a suicide attempt a year ago, a.k.a my ex is now moving in with who pretended to be my best local friend into MY neighborhood (whereas when together with me, even moving into Kyoto was utterly impossible for him) did nothing to improve the mood.
- Breaking down and trying to talk to another remaining "friend" about this resulted in them trying to basically rape me.
- The tremendous effort to call and go to some sort of counselling was wasted because they had no openings.
- I put a lot of my life-force into a project that took off nice, then had utterly unexpected and devastating-for-me-personally staff-changes.
- Next that project pretty much died with not much refunds and due to rethinking/revealing some things by the leaders, all the work that had gone in it thus far that I believed could be used in a future project, went up in smoke.
- Over the course of two weeks I talked a stranger out of a suicide - try it sometimes and see what a childs' play that doesn't affect you one bit that is.
- Lab work has seen zero progress and I feel the judgemental looks.
- My phone died resulting in an still-ongoing odyssey to get a new one and save at least some of the data.
- Both my work and personal laptops and camera are becoming unusable at a high speed.
- A laser-treatment did absolutely nothing.
- I managed to melt a lighter and burn my fingers when trying to light an incense stick.
- Heard/saw what looked like kidnapping when sleeping on balcony one night - but not sure because drunk Japanese women act so idiotic, it's impossible to tell. Still concerned about not having acted on it.
- One friend I care about is juggling anxiety, two jobs and moving from one country to another. Another is pregnant, puking her guts out and suffering major migraines while still having to do a huge amount of important work. Yet another has pretty much given up on their studies, become convinced that they are cursed and is spending huge amounts of money on shamans and healing crystals. And one is basically living in lab. + all the problems of all the rest of them that I don't know about. There is nothing I can or am expected to do about any of that. It does not mean I don't worry.
- Besides that I worry about worrying mom or other important people.
- The stress and too long hours at computer (with not enough sleep, proper food or exercise) are making hair fall out, activating the autoimmune disease and moving up the time when I have to have another surgery for my wrist.
- All to somehow tackle with a broken mind.
Cheers,
Hedi
Edit:
Edit:
- Of course the med centre has been closed for a month when I urgently need to go there... because all the people who actually need help, will magically be cured while the entire centre is reserved to manage about 3 people per day who didn't bother to show up during the official health check dropping of their urine sample.
- I was just locked in a room in lab by virtue of the door handle dropping off when I was trying to exit.
- Everything hurts.
