Ülitäpne pestoretsept

Jõua aastaajaga lõpuks sinnamaani, et öösiti õues külm ja katseks* istutatud basiilikutaim hakkab närbuma.

Avasta, et pole sellest veel kordagi süüa teinud.

Veena kodustatud palvetajaritsikas mõneks ajaks sellelt paprikataimele kolima.

Korja sõelatäis lehti, sorteeri, pese, kuivata.

Lisa plastikkarbitäis vana sügavkülmutatud basiilikut.

Mõned mandlid.

Teadmata kogus oliiviõli. (Rohkem, kui tundub, et vaja peaks minema.)

Kolm küüslauguküünt. (Mis oli tegelikult tiba liiast.)

Teadmata kogus laabijuustu. (Emme saatis!)

DO NOT FORGET THE LEMNOSES! (Ehk et tegelikult pidi retseptis sidrun või laim ka sees olema, mida meil kodus olema ei juhtunud, küll aga sai jupp aega paella + ex + lemnoses jutu peale naerda.)

Purusta kõik mikseris massiks.

Sega värske pasta ja eelnevalt küpsetatud hakklihaga.

Riivi veel natuke juustu peale riputamiseks.

Oiii, kui nämm!

2x2 portsionit sai. Mitte et see kuidagigi aitaks kedagi. Tuleb lihtsalt koostisosi jupphaaval lisada ja iga iteratsiooni maitsta, kuni meeldib, mis muud.

Peale ööd külmkapis "marineerumist" oli veel parem!

*Ma vannun, see liik ei salli mind. Mitmeid kordi kasvatada üritanud eri tingimustes, no ei taha edeneda kõige muuga võrreldes. Ja samal ajal peetakse kõige lihtsamalt ülalpeetavaks ürdiks üldse... Igatahes, jonni jätmata panin järjekordselt ühe suve keskel potti, sedapuhku isegi kasudega. Vähemalt Puudel, kes seal põõsa sees magamas käib öösiti tundub hindavat asja.

Cheers,

Hedi

Banana bread

Had, yet again, some about-to-rot bananas in the fridge. Not sure what the issue is, but lately all that I buy go off at about 4x the normal speed, I swear. Am aware that banana bread exists. So...

Never made any before (yes, I did get through the pandemic without it), so started from here, then got annoyed at how the (mobile) website was set up and needed excessive amounts of scrolling to get to the points, not to mention all the ads, so proceeded to improvise.

Main findings:

The amount of sugar in an American recipe is BONKERS! By default lessened the amount prescribed and the result was still absurdly sweet. Next time 1/2 sugar, no more. No wonder there seem to be no human sized humans left there...

Making of the whole recipe only used one large and one small bowl, a couple of spoons and the baking trough making the process from prep to cleanup incredibly low effort. And I am all for that.

What I actually did + note for next time:

1. Peel 4 small bananas into large mixing bowl, smush them with a fork - this actually hurt my hand, not sure whether due to body condition or whether the bananas were actually less ripe than they looked or what, in any case need to think about better mashing method, maybe slice before? Also, better to use 5 small bananas.
2. Break 3 eggs on top of the bananamush and whip them with the fork first without disturbing the bottom layer to get some air in there, then all together.
3. Weigh 60g of unsalted (duh!) butter and about 20g of coconut oil into small ceramic bowl, put into micro for 30 sec to melt, mix, another 30 sec heat, onto counter to cool, then pour into main bowl.
4. 1 tablespoon of vanilla extract into the main bowl.
5. Add 1 teaspoon of baking soda.
6. 1/2 teaspoon of salt.
7. 100g of low processed cane sugar - recipe was 150g of white chemical sugar, 100g of a more normal one turned out to be excessive, next time 75g of the least processed I have.
8. 225g of various (mostly) gluten free flours (this time had about 75g of leftover rye flour mix, 1 megatablespoon / around 20g of potato starch, and the rest of the amount was made up with "premade gluten free rice flower for baking", which I presume also had some "gluten imitating chemicals" because there were absolutely no issues with the dough rising or keeping shape after cooling. With a different flour mix might actually have to mess around with xantham gum etc.
9. 5 scoops of dried cranberries because I had them and thought to make it more interesting - turns out D really did not like that idea, so fine, no extra fruit next time.. sad me. Making this for anyone else, I think dried pineapple bits would be awesome. Just need to lessen the amount of sugar even further then. Wet fruit would make cooking the loaf thoroughly more complicated.
10. Oven to preheat at 180C - 170 next time, the top got too brown too fast.
11. Cooking paper to line a pyrex loaf mold, a tablespoon of coconut oil spread in it for yummier crust.
12. Batter into the mold, into oven.
13. Cook at 180 C for about 30 min, then realise the temperature is a bit too high and turn it to 170 for about another 30 min - next time just do 170C and 1 hr, obviously. May also experiment with brushing the crust with coconut oil or egg mix in the hopes to keep it unburnt and less cracked?
14. Toothpick test.
15. Discard the instructions to wait until cool and serve immediately with a piece of chocolate to melt on top. Vanilla ice cream would be great too. I mean, like it wasn't with pretty much any baked good ever...

Cheers,

Hedi

When a hunt goes wrong

Many years ago we learnt that it is possible to get a stuck gecko off of gluey fly paper by soaking the attachment points in drops of cooking oil. Useful to know when the little fellows get it into their heads that the pile of flies on the pretty yellow tablecloth has been served up for their feast.

This morning I spent hours assisting Poodle (sometimes also known as a bat, from the species Frankie, in reality a mama praying mantis we've been feeding and employing as the habanero plant protector for a couple of months, who also just laid her first massive eggsack under the edge of our "garage" roof a few days ago) clean off some insanely sticky substance she had gotten herself covered with.

Poor thing was literally starving, glued to a leaf in the morning unable to use her front feet at all, since all of the (numerous and bending at weird angles - these guys are fascinating!!) joints were also stuck together. Guessing that the jelly was actually dried out slug goo, D used a tiny paintbrush to soak her legs in water a drop every couple of minutes until she got her joints moderately unstuck and some hope back into her. Snipped off the leaf and brought her indoors where the warmth and relative safety helped motivate her to keep trying to save herself. Toothpick, brush, several sets of tweezers, a pile of napkins and a fuckton of looking at minuscule things and patience - got most of the larger chunks of slug off in about 1.5 hours with no damage done. For the next few I sat at the kitchen table on which she was in turns committed to climbing up my shoulder, staring into my face, getting pissed off at all the goo and swinging clumped feet wildly about, gesticulating that she wants to be fed (which we eventually did while she was still sticky all over - oh what a mess, but she really needed the energy to keep going), getting obsessed with D's moving toes on the sofa half the room away or the shiny metal water bottle, and taking time to chew off some chunks of the slime and try to spit them out. That last turned out to be rather difficult, because - pure glue. Which is why we proceeded in a cycle of chew - try to spit - get mouth wiped by the corner of a tissue by me to remove the goop - soak leg - chew - spit - tissue -... 

NOT what I expected to be doing for the entire morning today, but does explain why for a no apparent reason, I woke up convinced that I need to stay at home from lab today. Life.

Note - this is a very domesticated mantis, used to being close to us, getting hand-fed, sitting on people etc. There is absolutely no way a wild one (like Sneak currently living on the other side of our house) would have tolerated this treatment without completely panicking and seriously hurting herself in the process of trying to flee. Also, I had (clairvoyantly freed up) time, a good eyesight and enough patience. So now she is back on her pepper, basking in the sun and licking her hands clean of several rounds of sandwiches (the insanely harmful Chinese Grasshopper moths hell bent on (and succeeding in) destroying all of the native and food-producing plant life).

Cheers,

Hedi

Bit cut from a book review because it got too ranty for that site, nothing to do with food... even though there is a cook in the book... hey, that rhymed :P

I now have exactly one instance of AI being useful to show. Even if I had to wrangle the f'ing thing out of lying to my face over and over again.

For the past 30 years I've occasionally recalled the very first book I read in English that got lost somewhere after I had finished with it - probably lent out so some nasty kid who never returned it. The entire time, therefore, I had no idea what the title or the author was. Today got an idea to ask the robot based on what keywords I recalled, namely: children's book, in English, Molly-Polly twin sisters characters, striped shirts and constantly arguing with eachother, sideways pony tales in opposite directions, illustrated, language-based jokes and puns, traditionally published, colourful hard cover. Aber natürlich, with complete and total certainty it claimed I could only mean one specific German series and listed the same keywords I had just given it, albeit in a nice bulleted and "expanded" list. I ask for details, it helpfully tells me "here's the cover", confirm it is correct. While showing no image whatsoever. Called out on this, it displays some book covers in German. I ask for English, again. It assures me, that, yes, it is in English. I ask for cover pictures in English, it suddenly finds that whoops, actually these books never were published in English after all. But this is still the correct book, because there are twins with the pointy pony tails on the cover illustration (of the German one). Which there were not and of which I had to inform the thing again. And so on several rounds. It's outright maddening to have to argue with a computer of all things about every single word it is blatantly lying about. But, nonetheless, eventually I did get to the correct book, so - a positive score of 0.001 to AI?

Ooh, the title rhyme I stumbled upon must have been inspired by recently rewatching old 'Allo 'Allo! episodes again. "Do you not see? That if you kill him with the pill from the till by making with it the drug in the jug, you need not light the candle with the handle on the gâteau from the château."

Cheers,

Hedi

Well job!

Is what happens when the random-Shiraz-to-accompany-Friday-dinner turns out to be a lot better than expected, and as a result the brain thinks it's going into a graphomany phase, while in fact just not being sober enough to choose between two expressions and ends up parallel processing them both.

Cheers,

Hedi

Pimp noodles...

... are a variation of vague noodles where aubergines are swapped out for broccoli and pineapple, and green peas for green beans in the veggie part of the dish. Name stemming from the increasingly infuriating autowronger of our current messaging app/digital keyboard. 

Seriously, how bad can you make it?? A few examples from the ten minute convo half an hour ago:

• "Disgusting" was changed to "fish", trying to type it again turned it into "distant".
• Whatever the heck this is "So tjivhg for tomów?"
• Meanwhile "Do I get the minx 9r not" is not corrected in any way.
• An effort to convey that I am happy to put broccoli and beans into the dish -"If you want to do brokoli break based vague, I'm happy with that". Tried to clarify, managed "Brokkoli, beans". Once again and: "Bread".
• Some sort of food item got turned into "With brolly", upon asking for clarification: "Brolly is an umbrella but I gave none."
• "Doesn5 matter.. Nee dsugar anyway" is another example of the perfect correction functionality.
• Apples morphed into "apps and grapefruit", while also being "carap".
• And a few sentences later, instead of conveying my message about laundry, the grapefruits randomly showed up again in the form of: "Was raining.. On my grapefruit.... Not Hauptfigur... Offffffssssake". At which point I gave up and decided that whatever the heck we'll end up with for dinner will be just fine with me, and ran to save my poor rained-upon bedsheets.

Cheers,

Hedi

Seni nimetu segadus

Kui kodus nii kartulid kui kõrvitsamägi kui läätsed kui tatar kui leib kui riis olemas, aga neist ühtegi valmistada ei viitsi parajasti, miks mitte õhtusöögi süsivesikute (ja mitte süsivesinike - küll on segadusseajavad sõnad) portsjon popkorniga (ja selle sõna eestikeelset kirjapilti pidin just roboti käest küsima... täna on keelega keeruline jälle... aga plaksumais - no ei, keeldun!) asendada. Täpsustuseks - tegu puhta õhkkuumutis plahvatatud maisiga, ei mingit õli, ei mingit soola. Hunnik kaussi, mõned lusikatäied varasemat pikakeedulihapudi, natuke juustu, natuke kastet, soovi korral tšilliviile ja tulemus on midagi poutine-laadset. Restoranitoiduks ei kutsu, aga ajas asja ära.

Et ausalt kõik üles tunnistada, minu idee see ei olnud, ja lubasin täpsustada, et idee sugenes ENNE džinn-toonikut.

Cheers,

Hedi

Air fryer - minu uusim sõber

Peale mitut aastat aeg-ajalt sellest loomast kuulmist ja mitte aru saamist, milleks teda vaja, kui ahi ja grill ja mikro ja pliit ja riisikeedumasin olemas, sigines meile kööki mõni nädal tagasi masin nimega air fryer. Ei ole seni suutnud talle sobilikku maakeelset nime külge pookida.. hmm.. õhufritüür? Tohoh, ongi kuumaõhufritüür? (Kui guugel mulle jälle näkku ei valeta muidugi - see previous post.) 

Noh - peale esmast sisse lülitamist on asi kasutuses olnud vähemalt ühe, kui mitte kahe eine valmistamiseks iga jummala päev. Absoluutselt ei osanud seda ette näha ja nüüd kahetsen, et D mulle aastaid tagasi sel teemal auku pähe ei rääkinud. (Tal oli reaalne kogemus, millele toetuda, aga vana verisoon kolis enne mind välja.) Muidugi mudel, mille nüüd hankisime, on hulka paremini soovide järgi tuunitud, kui siis (enne kui asi popiks läks) saadaval oleks olnud, niiet all's well that... Klaasist küpsetuskauss, et söögiga kokku puutuva tefloni kogust vähendada ja et sisu seisu masinat avamata näeks. Tüüpilise ühe käega välja libistatava metallküna asemel kahe käega pealt kõrvale tõstetav kaas (ja segamiseks silikoonspaatel) - need sahtlid nimelt tekitavad kangi põhimõttel iga kontrollimise ajal randmesse nii suure surve, et selle aja peale kui toit valmis, ei saaks mu alalõpmata vigane käsi enam söögiriistade hoidmisega hakkama. Lisaks, kui kaas pealt ära, lülitab kütteelement end automaatselt välja, seega pole ohtu, et unustad asja tööle, kui sahtliga kuskile serveerima lähed.

Miks hea? Ruumisäästlik - 30x30x30cm on meie oma kuskil. Ajasäästlik ja hands-off lahendus - viskad toidu sisse ja tegeled millegi muuga, paar korda segad või pöörad suurema tüki külge. Küpsetamine kuuma ringleva õhuga. Väike ruumala kuumutada, seega energiasäästlikum kui praeahi, ja ei mingit eelsoojendamist, lülitad sisse, peaaegu kohe temperatuur laes. Õli ei pea üldse lisama (või kui, siis paar pritsutist spraypudelist.. ei tea õiget sõna jälle), seega tervislikum. Aga tulemus saab mingi maagia läbi ideaalselt krõmpsu koorikuga (ja mõni meist on sellest sõltuvuses). 20-25 minutit ja valmis nii toorvorstid kui värskest kartulist lõigutud friikad. Isegi praemuna tegime vorstist välja jooksnud õlis klaasanuma põhjas (sel puhul järgnev küll ei kehti, aga muidu sisse söödava rasva kogust vähendab see ka, et toit resti peal, välja tilkunud jura viskab üldiselt minema.) Kasutatav nii sügavkülmutatud, toore kui juba küpsetatud toidu tarbeks. See viimane siis millegi eksisteeriva üles soojendamiseks. Eri programmid, temperatuurid, taimerid.

Ainus mure meil hetkel, et köögi on keegi geenius nii ehitanud, et seinas on üks pistikupesa. Millesse on ühendatud (pikendus... ee.. laiendusjuhtmega?) külmkapp, mikrolaine/praeahi, mikser, riisikeetja, tolmuimeja laadija, kuivatuskapp ja nüüd siis ka fritüür. Ja korraga kannatab kasutada neist maksimaalselt kahte, kui sedagi (oleneb mis programmi mingi masin parajasti sooritab, ehk et mis vool konkreetselt läbi pääsema peab), enne kui korgid välja lööb. Ja jah, meil on igasugused lisakontrollid ja maandused ja lülitid jne selle puntra haldamiseks, tulekustuti pealekauba, aga ikkagi "No common sense was harmed in the building of this house, because none was present" situatsioon.

Ja kas ma tšillide kuivatamisest juba kirjutasin? Me sattusime (etteaimatavalt) suveks paari tudengite farmindusklubi peenraid hooldama. Kuu tagasi tekkis selle tulemusel jalapeñouputus. Mina neid süüa ei suuda, D'le meeldivad vägaväga. Aga iga päev kümmet kauna ei suuda isegi tema tarbida. Kummikindad kätte (seda õppetundi mul mitu korda vaja ei ole, D sai omad vitsad ka kätte sedapuhku), pesta, 3mm viiludeks lõikuda (seemned sees) ja 4-8 tunniks fritüüri 80C juures kuivama. Pidada ülihead olema!

Cheers,

Hedi

2+2=5

Ongi käes.

"Madam Butterfly" purutee oli mul teismeliseeas igas Eesti Selveri jmt poe lahtise tee sektsioonis saadaval - totaalne nostalgialemmik seega. Mõni aasta tagasi juba tuli igatsus, uurisin, kust saaks, ei leidnud. Nädal tagasi veetsin kõva tunni guugeldades, et kas päriselt ei eksisteeri enam mitte kuskil seda, tulin arvuti tagant ära veendumusega, et jah tõepoolest, enam ei toodeta, ja kuna kuskil Euroopas on mingi muu ülipeen tee sama nimega, ju siis see Eesti oma sattus nime pärast pahandustesse vmt. Jagelesin otsingumootoritega veel veidi, leidsin vähemalt selle info, et "Seitse Samuraid" ehk võrreldav lemmik, on Prismades veel müügil. Niiet kribasin empsile, et kas saab otsima minna. Paar minutit hiljem saan vastu teepoe lingi, kus mitte ainult samuraid, vaid ka liblikad täiesti olemas, müügil, tellitavad.

Lihtsalt see põrgu põhja käia võiv kompott AIst, otsingumootoritest, suurfirmade kontrollist jne lihtsalt ei võimaldagi seda infot siit maalt leida. Mis siis, et 100% teadlik on, et ma Eestist ja endiselt kohaga seotud. Mis siis, et erinevaid otsinguvariante erinevates keeltes igate pidi sisestasin. Mis siis, et konkreetselt Eesti tulemusi nõudsin. Mis siis, et isegi lõpuks ühe neetud roboti käest infot küsisin.

Ja isegi peale nädalat sel teemal surfamist, otse empsi saadetud saidil kolamist jne, otsingumootoritest EI OLE VÕIMALIK seda infot kätte saada. Katse on muuseas korratav - lasin D'l sama asja läbi teha. Positiivseks kontrolliks VPN (mida enesel ei ole küll hetkel) Eesti peale lülitada - imedeime, tee on jälle eksistentsi saavutanud ja müügil mitte ainult ühes poes või saidil, vaid erineva hinnaga tervest hulgast allikatest saadaval.

Vot nii eraldatud kastides istume me nüüdseks siis - usu jah, mis infot näed. Hurra.

Noncheers,

Hedi

Variance

In some sort of "want to write random things" period. Been a while.

Thought of the day:

As much as I can see, the difference between going deeper into the lore/universe/politics/world/ etc of Star Trek vs that of Star Wars is that the prior offers endless hope through difficulties, whereas the latter is depressively real and realistically depressive. Probably says something about the diehard fans of both. Surface-level "seen the movies" knowledge does not count. 

Expansion on that:

Tolkien summed up would fall into the second category. Discworld into the first. Hitchhiker has to get ripped in two according to the time of life of Adams whilst writing. Potter - first. Alice - second. Everything by Asimov - absurdly hopeful. Still haven't read enough past Ender to make the final judgement there. Dune likely into the second, but it's been a very long time since I read it. Narnia can go and kill itself off like it so wants to, therefore also assuredly the second. Earthsea - also a doomed world. And I'm also going to throw Acotar into the list and in the first category despite it desperately trying to pretend to be deep. What else... Poirot, regardless of a trail of dead bodies, definite beacon of hope. And the Elderlings, during reading of which I've probably cried the most in total, also belongs in the first. Cassie Clare's stuff - leaning towards the second, Roth's - first. Zelazny's everything - second, but sort of hiddenly so. Buffy - second. Everything by Lindgren automatically into the first. GOT should be an equally automatic second, but for some reason I hesitate here - yes, disasters and terror everywhere, but things still work out somehow?

So, looking at this, the second bunch is clearly more impactful, but boooy would we lose it without the first to act as balance.

Afterthough:

Should have made this into two properly formatted lists or sth...

On another note:

We seem to have accumulated an army of honeys from various origins and/or harvests. This got mentioned in a conversation on the street corner and as a result, we're having the first not-just-us honey tasting tomorrow. Wondering how to make that not be a disaster when I have no idea whether these people can taste any differences at all, or whether they can eat the bread we're planning to use as base, or whether they are sure they don't have allergies etc... Just too many other things up in the air at the moment to have organised this properly. Oh well, at least I'll find out how many different ones we actually have at present.

Cheers,

Hedi

Shower thoughts of the random category

Before checking - if there is a product sold in English under the name of "whipped cream" which is, in fact simple liquid cream, that's stupid and the product should be called "whippable cream". (And fk if I know how those cans of sprayable plastic with the same label work to decide at which point it morphs from one form into the other.)

In Estonian "vahukoor" is barely passable written on the corresponding carton, since it can be read as "cream meant to become vaht". After the whipping action has been completed, it should, in fact, be called "vahustatud koor", which we really do not. But since Estonian grammar is bizarre anyway, like mentioned, both of these versions at both time points soooort of can be let slip.

And then there is the Japanese product "ホイップ" (hoippu), a.k.a the bastardised word "whip" signalling what I sincerely hope is not the actual cream product, but the plastic whoknowswhatliquid that is frequently used here to make white foam instead of the substance originating from a cow.

Now to google a bit. (Which has become almost impossible, I HAVE to add with this AI bullshit. Asking about the same topic 1 minute apart from two different computers gives the EXACT OPPOSITE results. How are we to trust any information at all anymore??)

OK, anyway, turns out most of the time the liquid stage of the cream should not be called "whipped", but instead "heavy cream" or "whipping cream", which makes all the sense. Except that people use it wrong anyway.

And in Japan, the actual cream seems to be labeled as "生クリーム" (namakuriimu) (sometimes with some extra kanji characters in the front I can't seem to be able to look up) translating into raw cream. "Hoippu" is indeed the fake stuff, unless you elongate the word into "ホイップクリーム" (hoippukuriimu), at which point it designates the aerated mass that can be stuck on cake, whether it originates from the dairy or the other liquid.

All of this is also known as "this is what happens when listening to Tolkien's writings and comments on linguistics".

Cheers,

Hedi

Sides

Taking thick sticky sour cream (not the liquid squeezable sort sold in plastic bags in Estonia) out of a carton is a lot better done scraping with the back of the spoon, not the normally used side. This way the cream mass does not just stay as a clump hiding in the concave bit while you're desperately trying to mix it into something, because you can just wipe it off into the food. Also, the sides of the container can be scraped down as you go. But how after years of living and cooking together D had never picked this "trick" up is beyond me. Oh well, good to know there are still things to learn both ways.

Farm has turned down the tomato flood, gone through a couple of weeks of peppermania and is currently producing endless chillies and Japanese pumpkins. Count of the latter so far is 7 in two weeks, and yes, we are throwing them at unsuspecting neighbours. Today got some rosemary from a lady on the way to farm, went back later to give her a kabocha as a return present, ended up getting some potatoes too, because "those are tasty when cooked with rosemary". The real reason we asked for that particular rosemary bit (to root some cuttings and get a blue-flowered dark green variant to grow beside our white-flowered grey leaved variant if the mole living underneath it doesn't end up murdering it) was a bit too complicated to explain, so potato-dinner it is. This area really is sort of amazing to live in. Even if in the past 3 years they have approached building in a manner such that our "garden" with its single square meter of actual soil, is the greenest space around.

Cheers,

Hedi

Mr pepper and other greats

But of course we stick the caterpillar found inside the pepper cut up for dinner into a box (yes, it's a special one with air slots and a hatch etc) and proceed to feed it our daily food scraps (because after the farm tomatoes finally calmed down, we are now drowning in peppers of all spiciness levels as my lip and skin in the eyebrow corner that I just had to soak in milk to combat a capsaicin burn gotten from touching them with a finger that previously came into contact with some especially evil pepper scrap, can attest to) to see what it grows into... Doesn't everyone? Doubled in size in two days has this Mr Pepper.

But also, yes, since these harvests go from mean chillies to sweet paprikas, some of them looking undistinguishable, I do now have to wear rubber gloves when dealing with any of them. And yes, milk IS the correct first aid, since the burny chemical reacts with another found in milk and the whole thing I believe is fat soluble, so you gan actually get some of it off, while just washing with soap and water does squat all. And yes, it was critically urgent at one point to find this out.

After more years than I can recall of needing a near constant background of wall-to-wall variable music, preferably at least half of it newly discovered, recently if I get around to switching Spotify on at all, I tend to stick to playlists of old favourites. (Good thing they are just about maxing out the limits set by the company at some 8000 songs apiece, or it'd still get repetitive huh.) This of course makes discovering new music and/or keeping up with releases sort of impossible. Add to that a near total avoidance of (social) media and, lordsaveus, all manner of short-form clips, and I have absolutely no idea what's what anymore. So when despite all that I have managed to hear about a new artist, you bet they are Actually Special. So, here's a feast in the form of three people I've (finally) picked up on this year. And what comes out of these mouths is plain unreal... 

WING

Maphra

Dimash

Cheers,

Hedi

Üllatavalt vähe...

...olen ma ikkagi elus lugenud, tuleb välja. Eileõhtust tunniajast "raamatut" trackingsaidile sisestades jäi ilus ümmargune loetud raamatute number 1400 silma - ja kuidagi väike tundub teine. Okei, raudselt mingit hulka lapsepõlve ja kooliaja asju pole meelde tulnud ära registreerida (kuigi mõned aastad tagasi istusin küll oma raamaturiiuli fotodega ja klikkisin kõik paika, mis võimalik), aga suurem enamus peaks süsteemis sees olema. Õpikud ja manga ja artiklid ja kokaraamatud ja maniakaalsed korduslugemised jmt, mida seal saidil ei jälgi, on pealekauba, aga ikkagi - julmalt keskmistades kuskil 37 raamatut aastas.

Võrdluseks, 2023-2025 aasta keskmine (kordused sees) on 183 teost. See "saavutus" muidugi 30:30:30 tänu nutifonipõhistele digitaalfailidele, vabadele digitaalraamatukogudele ja taustal kuulatavatele audioraamatutele. Viimase 10% peab vist paraku tervisejamade arvele panema. Silver lining, huh..

Cheers,

Hedi

Tomato-onion chutney

250 g red onion - peeled, diced into a deep copper pan with a small amount of grape seed oil. Cook until they start going see-through.

1kg mini tomatoes, washed, halved, bad bits cut off, into the pan with onions.

5 cloves of garlic, cleaned and roughly chopped, added to the pan, cooked down a bit.

2 teaspoons of salt, 100g of brown sugar, 100ml of thin balsamic vinegar added later and the whole thing boiled until liquids mostly evaporate and the mass turns sticky.

Carefully ladled into a steam/oven-sterilised glass jar, filled to the brim and closed while still hot so it vacuum-seals itself before letting fully cool down.

Store in dark and cool, eat on bread, on rice, in meat dishes as seasoning or side-condiment.

(Optional step for spice lovers is to fry a bunch of chilli in a separate pan before adding it to the mix for the long boil. Other types of tomatoes and onions and oil and vinegar and sugar and peppers also OK to use. Just taste and see what works or what needs adjusting.)

And all of that happened because our tomato plants decided that 10kg of fruit in the space of 3 weeks is just about the correct amount of production.

Cheers,

Hedi

Potatocado

Pikast valimise harjutamisest hoolimata vahel satub ostukorvi mõni täielik kartulavokaado. Aga nii hullu, nagu eile, pole ikka jupp aega näinud. Koor sisuliselt eraldamatult viljaliha küljes, see omakorda sama tugevalt seemne küljes - kõva kümme minutut võttis aega neid kolme sektsiooni eraldada. Nuga täiesti kasutu sealjuures, supilusikaga kaapides kuidagi lõpuks läks õnneks.

Süüa see jurakas muidugi niimoodi ei kõlvanud, aga et mitte toitu raisata, lõikusin juppideks ja viskasin viieks minutiks paari supilusikatäie veega pannile hauduma ja seejärel paariks lisaminutiks tibakese õliga samasse grillima. Toimis ja toidustus ja soola-pipraga on täiesti adekvaatne lisand taldrikul.

Ülikooli ruutmeetrisel farmilapil on sel aastal 7 minitomatitaime. Paar neist teadlikult oma seemnetest (mis eelmisel aastal poetomatitest säilitatud) kasvatatud, aga suurem osa on farmiala suvalistes kohtades poollagunenud kompostist välja kasvanud taimed, mille adopteerisime ja seemikueas oma lapile ümber asustasime. Ja on tänulikud teised. Kõrgus 2.5 meetrit ja viimaste kolme nädalaga 9! kilo! tomateid andnud. Iga taim vahvalt erinev sort ka, niiet saab oma lemmikuid valida. Muidugi natuke liig hakkab saama neist praeguseks, seega hulka oleme naabritele ja tööl jm ära ka jaganud.

Aga tegelikult tahtsin memoks kirja panna, et veider on kolme täiesti eraldiseisvat raamatut läbisegi (sest oleneb, kas on audiot või teksti parasjagu tarbida võimalik ja mis platform neti kättesaadavuse pärast kasutatav ja kuidas tuju tase on jne...) lugeda, kui kohtade, tegelaste, asjade nimed ja käsitletud kontseptid kuidagi lipitilapiti, aga mitte päriselt, kattuvad. Põhimõtteliselt olen sel nädalal omale ajusse mingi veidra kimäärraamatu tekitanud.

Eelnevasse sasipusasse mittepuutuvalt lugesin õiget raamatut valel (aasta)ajal. Cozy fantasy oli žanr, aga nii tugev fookus oli toidul, soojendavatel jookidel jmt, et pidevalt oli tunne, et peaks pausi tegema, kööki ruttama ja mingit lisanditega kakaod või hõõgveini või chaid ja koogikesi tegema. Problem selles, et praegu hetkel on meil 40C kuuma õues...

Cheers,

Hedi

Rice paper...

... on üks üsna hirmus asi.

Hankisime eksperimendi mõttes paki, et slopdogide asemele mittenisune variant leiutada. Vorstide ja juustuga mikrolaineeritud vormis oli ikka täiesti rõve - nagu kergelt kumjat plastikkilet üritaks süüa. (Et mitte seda võrdlust kasutada, mis katsetuse enda käigus üles kerkis, sest ei taha praegu päris nii ebaviisakas olla.)

Sama asja pannil võis praadimine muutis kile vähemalt krõmpsuks ja vähem... organiliseks (jah, üks a, mitte kaks), niiet päris välja enam ei pidanud sülitama.

Järgmiseks, kuna pirakas pakk seda paberit juba soetatud, katsetasin Tai värskete aedviljade seguga kevadrulle teha (mitte taignas friteeritud variante, see on täiesti teine maailm.) Valge redis, porgand, jääsalat ja avokaado riivitult kolme erineva poe-küpsetatud lihaga leotatud riisipaberis rulliks keeratult ja "pähklikastmega" üle valatult mulle tundus peaaegu söögina juba. Üks kolmest lihavariandist välja arvatud, see tähendab, sest see maitses täiesti roiskunult. D'l sama probleemi ei olnud, aga talle jällegi ei istunud daikon ega kaste.

Kaste, siinkohal vahemärkuseks, vajas ainult ühtlaseks massiks mikserdamist ja koosnes:

30g sarapuupähkleid

30g mandleid

4 supilusikat vett

4 supilusikat vähesoolast sojakastet

4 supilusikat mirinit

pool supilusikat ingveripastat

1 supilusikas linaõli

(Ja mulle maitses küll!)

Seni viimane eksperiment oli vette kastetud riisipaberi pooleteiseks minutiks 1000W programmiga mikrolaineahju viskamine. Mis äärmiselt üllataval kombel muundas jubeduse millekski enamvähem söödavaks, kuna paberisse imbunud vesi aurustub ja tekitab (enamvähem popkorni põhimõttel) kõva vahutava tekstuuriga krõpsu.

NB!d:

1. Paberi peab algsuurusest paarisentimeetri laiusteks ribadeks lõikama, muidu keskmised osad ei plahvata korrektselt.
2. Ribad peavad korralikult märjad olema, muidu kuivavad efektitult ära.
3. Kui leotatud riisipaber otse taldrikule panna, on selle kinni kleepunud jura kätte saamine täielik peavalu - küpsetuspaber alla.
4. Taldrik saab väga väga kuum.

Järgmiseks ilmselt katsetab neid krõpse mingi vürtsiseguga katta.

Cheers,

Hedi

Igavust ei ole olemas

Lihtsalt ei eksisteerigi sellist nähtust ja kõik.

Olemas on mitte viitsimine, füüsiline ja vaimne suutmatus konkreetsel hetkel midagi teha, ja võib-olla ka kujutlusvõime puudumine. Nende neljaga on seletatav 100% ajast, kui inimene millegagi parajasti ei tegele. Sest sama moodi 100% ajast on potentsiaalseid tegevusi (meeldivaid või ebameeldivaid, meelelahutuslikke või tarvilikke), millega koos "igavus" ilmselgelt eksisteerida ei saa, nii umbes kümme tuhat. Seega, igavust ei ole olemas ja väide "Mul on igav" on selge vale ja (lapsepõlvest selle kasutust meenutades) häbitu tähelepanu püüdmise katse.

(Kui mingigi huvi filosoofia/psühholoogia vastu oleks, võiks sel teemal hunniku artikleid kirjutada ja selle käigus kindlasti mitte igavust tunda...)

Cheers,

Hedi

Alkeemia

Kanakaste muundus kogemata pasteediks.

Filee paari mm jämedusteks viiludeks, pannile varasemast kõrgrõhuribide küpsetamisest üle jäänud searasvaga hauduma-praadima, kuni lihast välja tulnud vedelik ära auranud ja liha pudistunud ja kergelt pruunistunud. Samast ribiportsust üle jäänud soja-mirini-ingveri-küüslaugu-pipra-küdooniapasta kallerdunud vedelik, teise panni (mil eelnevalt veiselihaviile kiirpraadinud) loputusvedelik, veidi kuivatatud basiilikut, veidi Cholua kastet ja törts valget veini maitsestuseks. Kõvasti piima, peotäis patentseeni ja paksendamiseks rukkijahu.

Soojast peast ja aurutatud kartulitega käitus nagu üsna tavaline kaste, aga järgmisel päeval sai teist külmkapist otse saiaviilule määritud ja no täiesti poepasteedi maitse on asjal.

Cheers,

Hedi

Vague noodles and slopdogs

Noodles with a promise "to be vague" on the package have become the central player of our most recent favourite dinner. Not the fastest of meals, but simple and awesome Thai-ish food.

Clean, dice and fry 4 long eggplants (preferably in some rendered left over fat from some earlier bacon- or pork-containing meal.) Remove from the pan when cooked and set aside.

Fry up a pack (400g or so) of minced meat with black pepper. When brown, add fresh minced garlic and cook some more.

Return the eggplants to the pan, add some green peas (frozen works great) and mix in at least two tablespoons of gochujang. Add some white cooking wine, water and 200g of flat transparent rice noodles. Cook frequently stirring until vague.

Most critical step: serve with a healthy dose of fresh lime or lemon juice (first is better, second is easier).

(Can also add pre-cooked mushrooms if any happen to be lying around, or if you are one of the disgusting soap-eaters, cilantro is supposed to go with this cuisine too.)

Quantity above is enough for 3 meals for two people.

And then there is the thing that makes hotdogs look fancy.

Slices of the plainest white meant-for-toast bread onto a plate, 1-2 emergency sausages (we usually keep a pack of slightly spicy chorizo wieners in the freezer) onto one side of it.

Cover with shredded cheese and microwave until melted.

Take out, quickly add ketchup (and mustard, if happen to have any), fold the bread over so the cheese sticks together and voila - slopdogs.

Cheers,

Hedi